Y Not I

I find myself this Friday afternoon with my own personal dilemma. Although I try and keep my personal life out of this blog, I do think there are spiritual aspect to consider, so I thought it a good forum to get out my emotions on this topic.

I started a new job back in November, one that offered a higher salary and brought me much closer to home, thus removing what has amounted to about two to two and a half hours off my commute. The position, while pretty good, is filled with much more paperwork type of tasks, and has up to now involved very little technical expertise. There are some technical task, but they have been limited and somewhat repetitive and mundane thus far. I do feel there are some more intriguing technical challenges coming down the road, but for now, the job is slightly boring, but the commute and the pay have more than offset that in my mind. I seem to work with mostly nice people in a pretty nice environment. I think my prior job had more people that I could speak with from a similar intellectual perspective, but I have not been at this job long enough to truly evaluate that.

So I have come to the point, 90 days in where I am getting an offer to come on board as a permanent employee and no longer as a consultant. The offer sheet I have now received is for quite a bit less than what was originally promised. So part of me and my family are hurt that I was lead to believe one thing and now told (and as of this point, it hasn’t been explained other than it was wrong what I was originally promised) that this is it, kind of a take it or leave it. Well I trust in the L-RD and what gets taken from me, G-d is trustworthy to restore for in Joel 2:23-27 it says:

23 Be glad, O people of Zion,
rejoice in the LORD your God,
for he has given you
the autumn rains in righteousness.
He sends you abundant showers,
both autumn and spring rains, as before.

24 The threshing floors will be filled with grain;
the vats will overflow with new wine and oil.

25 “I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten—
the great locust and the young locust,
the other locusts and the locust swarm
my great army that I sent among you.

26 You will have plenty to eat, until you are full,
and you will praise the name of the LORD your God,
who has worked wonders for you;
never again will my people be shamed.

27 Then you will know that I am in Israel,
that I am the LORD your God,
and that there is no other;
never again will my people be shamed.

Now I could speak of how this promise is to the people of Zion and get into the theological talks that I usually gravitate towards, but I accept this as a promise for all His people, Jew and Gentile, and I trust in that.

What I am truly hoping for is to be able to show them through my actions and my behavior in handling the situation that there is something in me that is different, something that they may have never seen before. I am praying that I can handle this situation, truly as an ambassador of the Most High G-d.

I am also joyful for I know:

• Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask G-d, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. - James 1:2-5
• Praise be to the G-d and Father of our Lord Yeshua HaMashiach! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Yeshua HaMashiach from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by G-d’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Yeshua HaMashiach is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls. - 1 Peter 1:3-9

I also know that after Job’s period of testing he was more than restored for Scipture states: After Job had prayed for his friends, the L-RD made him prosperous again and gave him twice as much as he had before (Job 42:10). I guess my prayer request is that I can see whether this company is treating me right, expressing truthfully what has happened and is not taking advantage of a situation. Certainly that will profit them not. As for me, I need the wisdom to see if this is a company and a group of people that I need to be associated with. Right now I am having doubts, but also right now, I don’t have too many other options. However, with G-d we will gain the victory, and I know that G-d has something to show me to teach me (and my family) through this.

Baruch HaShem, praise be to the Mighty One of Israel!